Anyone in hospice service will tell you they have been asked by a family or a patient the question "how long?" and we all have our own personalized responses which most often include?
No one knows without a doubt how long they will live. I could leave this room and be in an accident and lose my life long before you lose yours.
Once familiar with their nurse, a family may here that the time is drawing near. "Better call in the family".
I am completely filled with gratitude and awe for the words spoken by a physician's assistant recently to a patient and his family when confronted with the "how long?" question.
The patient, male, middle aged, and not ready to hear the harsh answer asked the P.A. after a lengthy discussion about his cancer how long it would be (before he dies). The family sat still and the patient waited knowingly and yet also displayed reserve and lack of knowing.
"When you were born, your mother carried you for 9 months before you came into this world. It's time now, son, for you to begin the journey back to the source. It is what it is and you need to prepare to go back there."
While the trajectory of the illness gives the doctor a great clue to how long someone will live, it does not address the appropriate communication to family and the patient at different intervals of the intial news.
Whatever your opinion of this response, I believe there will come a time when a family and patients would find great comfort in such sentiments.
After all, we are all returning to the source; plant, animal, or human we are in that wonderful cycle of life and I am grateful for those who hold our hands on this journey.
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